A (very selective) review of the year

Oh boy...

It was most refreshing to see 2013 become the year in which football finally started to move away from the hysteria over managerial movements, controversial on- and off-pitch incidents, minute scrutiny on even the tiniest perceived slight or indiscretion, ridiculous transfer fees and generally threatening to disappear forever up one of those particular proverbial arseholes at any given moment. EXCEPT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN, DID IT.

Second (manager of the) season syndrome

'This is going to be a piece of pi- oh'

Following the undignified scenes at the weekend (we haven’t heard ‘you’re getting sacked in the morning’ sung with such venom since a Christmas party we were at a couple of years ago), it was good of Tim Sherwood to prove that the new dawn at Spurs is going to look suspiciously like the dusk that preceded it. SHERWOOD OUT!

A Load of Balls

World cupping

It’s perhaps one of football’s greater ironies that FIFA spend a great deal of time trying to make the game produce more goals and excitement to the general detriment of draws, only to spend an inordinate amount of other people’s time and money on one that is so pointless and overblown that from an initial level of anticipation at the start, viewers are forced into to a general state of torpor and indifference by the close. A bit like this paragraph.

Rob’s Magic Shoes

Another remarkable shoe story

Adam Bushby (AB) 

The unusual events described in this chronicle occurred last Saturday in Angel, north London. I’d arranged to meet Rob MacDonald (co-editor of Magic Spongers) outside Highbury & Islington tube and then we walked up to the Craft Beer Co on White Lion Street. Although it’s always nice to go out for a drink, we’d ostensibly met to talk about our new book (Falling for football: The teams that shaped our obsession, publication date: soon). As we did so, my eyes fell on Rob’s shoes. “Are they your new maroon and black shoes that you got free from JD Sports?” I asked. “Maroon?” he asked incredulously. “They’re black.” They weren’t black. They were maroon and black.

The Shape of Things to Come

'Two plus two equals HARRY FOR ENGLAND'

More bewildering news from the world of autobiographical serialisation as the greatest-manager-England-never-had-but-still-may-have-and-most-likely-still-will-end-up-with-at-some-point decided to follow such luminary commentators as Gary Lineker and, ahem us, in putting the boot into the FA for not being able to run the country properly, or something.

Bad Cover Version

'They'll never know it's me.'

Fernando Torres looked at the screen, baffled. He blew out his cheeks, bemused. On the TV, a slow-motion replay showed him barging through the Manchester United defence, like a barge, before poking a shot past Edwin van der Sar and sprinting off on the lush Wembley turf, having just won the 2007 FA Cup for Chelsea in extra time.

Hart Knock Life

'Anyone going to tackle him?'

When this blog was very young and trying to be a serious collection of articles about what was, at that time, still a serious sport, it was very de riguer to fly in the face of widely-received wisdom to appear distinct. Well, never ones to be more than three years behind a developing trend that everyone else has already milked into oblivion and pastiche (watch out for our book, coming soon, by the way), here we are with a treatise on the reasons that Joe Hart is NOT overrated, despite the fact that a) he is, b) he’s been pretty poor for two years with the exception of a good game against Dortmund last season, c) we’ve variously read that the England manager has ‘misgivings’ about his form (doubtless following the shipping of TWO goals to Scotland), d) that he ‘flapped’ at not one but two corners against Cardiff on Sunday, and e) like all footballers, he just is.