The Rant Before the Storm

Warning: This article contains themes and images some readers may find upsetting.

There is a genuine panic engulfing England’s tree surgeons right now. They are shitting themselves by all accounts. As if one root and branch overview wasn’t enough to drive them to distraction, the latest one that threatens to be unleashed could be the final straw. Former chief executive of the FA Brian Barwick made sure, two years ago, that his big fat salary wasn’t wasted by creating a shortlist of managers for the England managerial position. Showing the kind of footballing insight that makes the FA the envy of the world, Barwick left no branch or root unturned in identifying the best possible candidates. Sir Alex Ferguson? He’s good isn’t he. Arsene Wenger? Arsenal play nice stuff. Jose Mourinho? Bit of an attitude but he seems to be doing well. Fabio Capello? I think I heard him mentioned on Sky Sports News once. Fresh from completing his rocket science degree, Barwick painstakingly whittled down the shortlist to one. “A winner with a capital W,” he purred back in December 2007.

Hold Honda Your Hats

Japan are in danger of becoming the World Cup’s surprise package. A sterner test than those that preceded their progress to the last 16 awaits in the form of Paraguay this afternoon, but after a team performance against Denmark that had all and sundry salivating, Japan are right to feel fearless.

Japan have become fixtures at FIFA’s four-yearly showpiece since they first qualified for the competition in 1998, before which the team’s only achievements of note were an Asian Cup triumph in 1992 and an Olympic bronze medal in 1968.

England's IncongRoonety

While Fabio Capello’s much-vaunted changes to his starting line up had the desired effect, they still made for a fitful, frustrating evening for Wayne Rooney, who has so far struggled to profit from the formation that bore so much fruit in qualifying. England have coped without him in squeezing out of a fairly weak World Cup group, but they will need him to fire as they go deeper into the tournament. So far though, England have not embraced Rooney’s strengths, while the man himself seems short on dynamism.

Playing alongside Emile Heskey, Rooney attempts to profit from his link play with runners from midfield. It gives him opportunities to play on the last defender, but England – particularly in their first two matches – become obsessed with Heskey as a lynchpin. This requires Rooney to drop deeper to get the ball as the Villa man continually, while holding it up well enough, plays sideways or backwards. While it worked in the qualifiers, Heskey was some way off the Villa first team for most of the season and is not the player he used to be. Meanwhile, as a dynamic counter-attacker, the directness Rooney can provide needs to be presaged by direct service to him, not through a proxy.

With Jermaine Defoe starting alongside Rooney last night, he was forced to relinquish even a theoretical position on the shoulders of the defenders as Defoe naturally occupies this space. Rooney should thrive here, with a pacy forward to complement him, but the problem with Defoe is you don’t link with him, you play him in on goal. Rooney plays a much more traditional number 10 role alongside the Spurs striker and while he had one chance last night, brilliantly saved, his scoring opportunities have been few and far between. The pressure is on him to find goals, meanwhile, is immense.

It’s not as if Rooney can’t manufacture his own chances, but he hasn’t looked like scoring in three games. Which begs the question: Is all right with England’s talisman? It is hard to spearhead a team playing so poorly, but even before Capello withdrew him last night, he looked short on fitness, form and confidence. These aren’t the traits we expected him to be sharing with Fernando Torres before the tournament began.

Gone is the 17-year old who stunned Europe in 2004. Rooney no longer exudes that carefree and exuberant fearlessness in matches and while his efforts remain at 110%, he has not looked happy at this tournament. Talked up before every game by team mates and opposition alike, the burden of his nation’s expectations appear to be sitting slightly heavier on Rooney’s shoulders than they have in previous years and combined with a lengthy season of responsibility and a recent injury, he does not look the striker of six months ago. He looks a man preoccupied with his own form and his own ankle.

The knockout stages may yet invigorate him, should he convince himself he is fully fit. Where spontaneity and submission blows are required, there are few better to have in your side. I fully expect the belief to come flooding back when needed most and from here Rooney can only make grander impressions with each passing game. However, England’s formation doesn’t seem to favour him and it remains to be seen if Capello has any plans to help liberate his best player. Rob MacDonald

South America Steals World Cup

South Africa 2010 so far has actually been the World Cup of South America. In a tournament of bus, aeroplane and small country parking, they have found attacking football the pathway to serene progress; five apples among a plethora of onions.

While it might be said that qualifying from a group containing this current France side would be easier than Paris Hilton after a shot of Cointreau, Uruguay’s performance against South Africa was ruthlessly efficient and they have now qualified from Group A as winners. Argentina have too, from Group B, with Greece getting exactly what they deserved given they are apparently coached by Nigel Negative these days.

Less was probably expected from Paraguay, especially with the shocking incapacitation of Salvador Cabañas, but a battling draw against Italy, during which they defended manfully (read: dealt out a bit of a shoeing) and another fine and robust performance against Slovakia (read: dealt out a bit of a shoeing) resulted in four points and top spot in group F.

Despite Chile only mustering two 1-0 wins as a reward for their commitment to attacking, Marcelo Bielsa is at least staying true to form. Chile are wonderful to watch. And then Brazil, one bit of basketball from Luis Fabiano aside, have scored exclusively great goals in industriously notching up six points from six.

But why is this domain, in which barn door and banjo routinely come together so gloriously, solely the domain of the South Americans? The Dutch and Spanish have great attacking players and Germany started well but suffered a hiccup. The less said about the rest of Western Europe's representatives, though, the better.

Part of it certainly appears to be belief. On this blog in the past we have mentioned the apparent disparity between England's technical abilities and those of other nations. Look at the South American body language – they know they are technically adept and can keep the ball. It inspires confidence. They are also energetic and fiercely fit. If you get the ball off them you are hounded, whether by the Uruguay and Paraguay front three or by Brazil's two holding midfielders until you give it back. Shoulders rarely sag.

This belief serves them well in the face of obduracy. When North Korea kept Brazil out for 55 minutes in Johannesburg, they didn’t panic. They just kept knocking the ball around. When the goals came it was hard to see what all the fuss had been about at half time. Argentina too, even in a game against Greece they didn’t need to win, stuck to the task, none more so than the incredible Lionel Messi.

Should we even be surprised? With the exception of those players based in Europe, we didn't even really know who was coming. Hands up if you knew who Alexis Sánchez was before the Chile-Honduras match? Hands up if you’d really like your club to sign him? The majority of South American leagues hardly get a mention in our Europe-heavy coverage. Meanwhile, European leagues are exported around the word and at the same time, Europe remains blissfully ignorant of everyone else. This startling lack of insight has been more evident than ever in England press conferences, where media attention has centred on the EBJT soap opera and not on asking Capello, the players, or each other what they know about Slovenia. ‘Typically hard to break down’ would be about the most insightful thing you would get from the England camp.

The freshness around the now-famous five could well be literal. Those that ply their trade in South America have had the benefit of a winter break and, the argument goes, this will leave them more refreshed than their World Cup peers. All well and good, I suppose, until you look at Messi or Maicon or Forlan, all of whom (and Messi in particular against Greece) have had long seasons but continue to put in monumental shifts. Conspicuously few South Americans, funnily enough, play in the Premier League, meaning England’s top tier is either taxing the life out of good players from other nations, or it is crap.

We will, though, have to lose some South American sides at some point and the likelihood is that at least some of the knockout blows will be delivered by others from the same continent. At the moment, no one else looks like being able to stop them. Rob MacDonald

Terry Putsches Above His Weight

It’s unclear whether or not John Terry has ever read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, but if he were to, perhaps he could superimpose the concept of himself as Our Glorious Leader over the notion of a supernatural creator and realise he is in fact a delusion himself and not in fact the saviour of English football. Please listen to me John: you are NOT England captain anymore.

Let me recap. England’s Brave John Terry turns up to a press conference with something clearly on his mind, betrayed by the beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. As if his life depended on it, Terry then blurts out that all is far from well in the camp. That Fabio Capello is so bloody-mindedly sticking to a flawed formula that England’s place in the World Cup is in severe jeopardy. Publicly calling for Joe Cole’s inclusion and stressing that if his words upset the manager, ”so what”, Terry went further, by some considerable margin, than any English player has ever gone in criticising life under Capello. Something had clearly come to a head for the FORMER England captain. Shame he couldn’t have used his before voicing his dismay in the media before even going to his manager’s door.

Quite what prompted Terry to go public with his concerns, only he knows. If it was an exercise in appeasing a disaffected public in the wake of the abysmal stalemate with Algeria, it was at best ill-conceived and at worst sheer bloody stupid. He has gone into the press room juggling apples and ended up with onions all over his face. To Terry apologists, once again, the bravest man to come out of England since Terry Butcher has once more bounded into the breach, dear friends. He shall never surrender.

Well, someone needs to remind him that he is not captain anymore. That he doesn’t speak for the players. His vanity has been his downfall in that he has spectacularly misjudged the level of support he has in the dressing room – only long-suffering mate Frank Lampard offered any sympathy and even then it was distanced. And first and foremost, someone needs to remind him that you don’t go running to the media to criticise your manager. Not when your manager is Fabio Capello anyway.

Capello, for his part, has played the whole situation as expertly as one would expect. He has isolated the ringleader and treated him for the entire world to see as a petulant little schoolboy who has made a “big mistake”. Capello asserted: “The mistake is you have to speak with the players, with me, with the dressing room.” And so, what could feasibly have been a minor revolt passed off as a non-event triggered by the passion, yes, but also the vanity of one man. As far as rebellions go it was less blood and thunder and more mouse fart. The Italian left no one under any illusions who is boss, as was the only way he could have successfully dealt with Terry’s display of dissent. You are not in Cobham now, John.

Terry has form with this ‘heart on sleeve’ bollocks as we all well know. Hearsay this may be, though I doubt it, JT also fell out with the best manager in the worldTM, Jose Mourinho, up until then his loyal right-hand man, back in 2007. When Mourinho sought to discover if there was a physical reason for Terry’s sub-standard performances, the brave one was furious. He has always been able to dish out criticism but has rarely been able to take it. This much is true when he, not in so many words, says that Emile Heskey is crap (by calling for Cole’s inclusion). Yet, if memory serves, was it not JT’s wretchedly lazy backpass that meant we almost lost to Algeria on Friday night? If he was indispensible to England, I could just about stomach his outburst. But he isn’t. Perhaps more so now with injuries to Rio Ferdinand and Ledley King, alongside the suspension of Jamie Carragher, but certainly through lack of viable options rather than his own form. Capello has laid down the gauntlet, JT needs to rid himself of this ludicrous God complex and pick it up. Adam Bushby

Mexican Waves Floor France

Raymond Domenech reflects on France's defeat

Clearly, Mexico were the more delighted team when the referee’s full-time whistle went at the Peter Mokaba Stadium in Polokwane last night, but deep down, most of the French side were probably just as glad that the ordeal is nearly over.

Defeat for France puts them on the brink of World Cup expulsion without the power to do anything about it. If they do somehow qualify, it will be on goal difference and scarcely deserved. The final Group A fixture against South Africa will be one for those with the stomach for a fight. On their performances in the tournament so far, the only fights the French are interested in are those within the ranks. They were as limp as a limpet shopping for Viagra on Dale Winton’s wrist.

The paucity of heart is surprising, regardless of national stereotype. One story from Argentina, on the brink of missing out on the tournament altogether, tells how Javier Zanetti rallied the troops on the field before kick off in their final qualifier, superseding a manager who – at the time – was inspiring anything but confidence. No one in the French side appeared willing to stand up in such a manner, in words or deeds. Perhaps the Domenech farce has just been rumbling on for too long – what once were French apples are looking increasingly like total onions.

The French clearly have the players to inspire though. Ribery, Malouda, Diaby, Toulalan, Clichy, Sagna, Lloris, Gallas. All play at a level above most of their World Cup Group A peers, especially the scorer of Mexico’s second, Blanco, who now plies his trade in Mexico’s second division. Most of the French are of Premier or Champions’ League pedigree.

They have always been a team that needs leading from the front. France were utterly crap in 2006 – a goalless draw with the Swiss was followed by a 1-1 draw with South Korea and Les Blues only progressed thanks to a 2-0 win over Togo in their final group game. From there, Zinedine Zidane ignited the side and single-handedly dragged them to the final. It seems natural, then to look at France’s forward line. Nicolas Anelka stands out. For being completely anonymous.

But what has become of Anelka? He is the world's second most expensive player in cumulative transfers. He has played at Arsenal and Real Madrid. He should be a focal point. When France got the ball, Ribery, Malouda and Diaby in particular, they needed a target – a centre forward. Anelka’s best position, most would say. A striker who for years has burned brightly – though sporadically – failed to deliver for his country when they needed him most. He was hauled off at half time, though his replacement was so equally unremarkable I’ve had to look up who it was (Andre-Pierre Gignac, if you didn’t notice either). All this as Thierry Henry sat on the bench, smug as a bug in a rug.

Despite sharing the limelight with Didier Drogba at Chelsea, Anelka’s goal record at Stamford Bridge isn’t bad. He scored 15 in all competitions this season and 25, securing the Premier League golden boot into the bargain, in 2008-09. Anelka’s reputation is still that of a striker who knows how to finish. However, no shots on target in 384 consecutive minutes for the French side before kick-off tell a totally different story. At least the English can be reassured that it doesn’t just happen to Emile Heskey.

It’s unfair to lump all the blame on Anelka, of course. Almost all the French were equally poor after half time and having conceded one, the likelihood was they would concede again, rather than troubling the Mexican defence. Evra barely moved as Barrero went past him and Abidal’s attempt to win the ball was as vague and non-committal as the entire French performance. The era of Laurent Blanc cannot come soon enough. Rob MacDonald

Brazil Spoil Korea-best Performance

People say England’s Brave John Terry (EBJT) is patriotic. For me though, patriotism in its purest form is bawling your eyes out during the national anthem. EBJT only cries when he loses, not before the game has even begun. But while tears preceded the Brazil v North Korea match, it was a smile that ended it. Finally, the World Cup became fun. Ever since the impossibly named Siphiwe Tshabalala’s beautiful strike in the opening game – despite a convincing German victory against the Aussies – the tournament has yet to lift off. But last night, the World Cup threw up a seeming mismatch that only the World Cup can. That it finished just 2-1 to the Brazilians should not result in denigration for the samba boys but high praise for the North Koreans. Most of us were wholly ignorant of them going into the tie and few will have greeted Ji Yun-nam’s composed finish with anything other than a massive grin.

Brazil did not thrash the North Koreans, so they must have been shit? Wrong. Kim Jong-Hun had his team militaristically organised. They were obdurate in the extreme, providing tireless running and throwing themselves into tackles and blocks. As far as bus parking goes, this was Mourinhoesque, with at least seven men behind the ball for the duration. But at the same time, as evidenced by their late goal, the Koreans were also dangerous on the counter. Rather than treading water, Brazil were made to work very hard for victory and should be happy with the result rather than despondent. They kept the ball moving across the pitch with panache and their ball retention was fantastic.

Criticism of Dunga’s style baffles me because 1970 and 1982 aside, when have Brazil ever played this ‘beach football’ for which they are so famous for 90 minutes? Four years ago, the defence was shielded by Emerson and Ze Roberto. Previous to that it was Edmilson and Gilberto Silva in Japan. And before then Dunga himself partnered first Mauro Silva in ‘94 and then Cesar Sampaio in ’98. Joga bonito has always come in glimpses as it did last night with a flurry of tricks from the boots of Robinho. Three lovely goals from open play were also welcomed, Maicon’s sublime finish being the pick of the bunch and the goal of the World Cup so far (yes I think he meant it). Oh and how good was it to see a side line up with a sweeper? North Korea might just be my favourite side right now.

Team ITV would have had you believe it was going to be double figures before the match started. I’m starting to get really pissed off with this laziness on behalf of the so-called pundits who are trotting out the same tired crap every game. Which is why I have decided to set up the League Against Unnecessary Gargantuan Hubris (aka LAUGH). If you would like to join me, simply chuck an apple or onion – doesn’t really matter which – at Adrian Child, Clive Titsley or Andy Bellend (yes, I am childish) every time they make an obnoxious or patronising comment about a side they know nothing about. Expect more of the same when the ‘plucky’ Hondurans take the field against Chile today. Last night’s game was a breath of fresh air. More of the same please. Adam Bushby