ZE GERMANS ARE COMING

"More of the same lads."

A swing of David Beckham’s (RIP) right boot, a flash of Alan Shearer’s not-as-bald-or-boring-back-then forehead and that was that. England one goal, Germany no goals. GERMANY KEINE ZIELE! And so a delirious nation decamped from the pubs they were watching in to… erm, some more pubs to sing inappropriate songs about German aircraft and Lothar Matthäus’ parentage, celebrate England’s victory over the arch enemy and make bold predictions about the destination of the Euro 2000 trophy, before going home to re-enact the match on their brand new Playstation 2 (one for you there, research fans).

Going For A Burton

Nice, isn't it? NOW GET RUNNING

An important moment in English football came and went this week. A day when the FA finally attempted to throw off the shackles of their abbreviation connoting ‘Fucking Arseholes’ and pushed forward into a brave new dawn of ‘Fingers out of Arses’. A day when incessant, ceaseless ranting on these fair pages – here, here, here, here and here… you get the picture – finally appears to have come to fruition. A day when the national game’s powers that be finally believe they have an answer to the age-old, 10-word conundrum, comprising in no particular order the words:

‘What, the, Fuck, happened, to, root, and, branch, review, the?’.

YOU’RE WELCOME, ENGLAND.

Seek and Lilleshall Find (part 2 of 2)

Continued from our piece yesterday so scroll down to read in order...
So if ever there were a time for centralisation, it is now. Trevor Brooking understands this and as the FA collectively back-slapped after hiring Capello, a lone voice could scarcely be heard above the din. Brooking asserted: "We must not let the debate on coaching and player development drop. We must invest and transform what we do." The coaches (in the main) understand this too. The problem is that the FA has ceded power to the Premier League, whose chairmen’s eyes glint with ever-growing dollar signs, presiding over clubs that specialise in self-interest. Until this overarching desire for Premier League clubs to make as much money as humanly possible in the short term is subordinated by the English game dire need for high-quality youngsters in the long term, the inevitable result is going to be a poor England team – with the odd high spot only arising due to home advantage (1966, 1996) or a rare confluence of good players and good fortune (1990).

Seek and Lilleshall Find (part 1 of 2)

Promises, promises. Given the alarming state of English football following the Euro 2008 qualifiers, its return to square one in South Africa 2010 makes the FA’s promised ‘root and branch’ investigation look more like ‘foot in mouth’. Or ‘head up arse’. Since Euro 2000, in fact, reform has perennially been just around the corner.

The timing of England’s ignominious World Cup exit marks near enough the mid-point of former chief executive Brian Barwick and then-FA chairman Geoff Thompson’s much-vaunted strategic review and consequent five-year plan. At a news conference to announce Fabio Capello’s appointment in December 2007, Barwick stated: “A direct part of [the strategic review] will be to work out how we take the England situation forward in a positive way.”