Twelve Days Of A Magic Spongers Christmas

"I was asking YOU if you thought I'D said merry Christmas to YOU!"

With (probably) our last post of 2012, we couldn't help but get in the festive spirit so in time-honoured Spongers fashion, we start off with a rant. Here's our now semi-regular (and brilliant) contributor Dan Forman with his take on 'Twelve Days of Christmas'.

Truly it's been what a Viz version of the Queen's speech might call an anus horribilis for the Premier League. In no particular order other than it features Chelsea quite a lot (which kind of tells its own story) we have had:

• John Terry abusing Anton Ferdinand (and Chelsea's handling thereof); 

• Luis Suarez refusing to shake Patrice Evra’s hand a few months after allegedly abusing him (and Liverpool's handling thereof); 

• The Mark Clattenberg affair (and Chelsea's handling thereof); 

• Roberto Mancini having to back down and pick a player who refused to warm up; 

• John Terry lifting the European Cup; 

• Newcastle's sponsorship deal with Wonga; 

• Ashley Cole defending John Terry in court;

• Arsenal putting their ticket prices up to the highest in the world, only to then not sign one of the best players in the world, but actually sell one;

• Roman Abramovich stripping out the last remaining layer of Chelsea's soul with the sacking of Roberto di Matteo;

Chiles Play

OMG LOOK! A MAN HOLDING A FOOTBALL AT THE FOOTBALL!

Hello there, I’m Adrian Chiles and not, as has been widely reported, a thumb, knee, foot, pair of bollocks or any other bodily appendage wearing a suit. Welcome to the Euros on ITV.

We’ll be back after this short break.

Pragmatic Latic

"Don't agree with me? GO AND STAND OVER THERE"

Ahead of a MASSIVE game for Wigan this weekend, friend of Magic Spongers – and a man who likes his pies – Martin Dearden makes his debut...

The first time my Dad took me to Wigan was October 1993. We sat in the Phoenix Stand at Springfield Park and watched the Latics stuff the now defunct Chester City 6-3. There was a young winger on loan from Man Utd who scored two and even managed to get booked for netting a cheeky chip after an offside whistle – but at least he hit the target, Mr Van Persie. It was a great introduction to watching my local team. Growing up closer to St Helens than Wigan with a rugby-mad Granddad, it shouldn’t really have happened, but after a rare highlight in a poor season I was hooked, begging my Dad to take me back.

Wigan-a Stay Up

When you’ve conceded 10 goals in your first two games of the season, the immediate solution that almost certainly doesn’t spring to mind is, ‘let’s go and sign an attacking midfielder and a striker’. Not, that is, unless you’re Roberto Martinez.