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Monday, 24 September 2012

Farewell to England's Bravest Man


Goodbye England’s rose,
May you ever grow in our hearts,
You turned offending everyone
Into a noble art.

You won’t play for your country,
In any more big games
How we’ll miss your bravery
And calling you a twat rude names.

And it seemed to us, you lived your life,
Like an armband in the wind,
Made of suspect moral fibres,
And some crap stitching;

And your footsteps will always fall here,
Across England’s greenest pitch,
La la la la la la la la,
Something snide about Wayne Bridge.

The armband you had lost
But you still played the leader role
But no one gave a shit,
As you’re mates with Ashley Cole.

You were so fucking brave,
We can’t believe you’re gone,
Because you were so fucking brave,
Just really fucking brave.

And it seemed to us, you lived your life
Like an armband in the wind,
With the positional sensibility
Of a terrapin;

And football won’t be the same without,
You slating someone’s mam,
Let’s have a cry and say goodbye,
To England’s bravest man.


  1. Absolute class!!!

  2. Oh my word. You really have outdone yourselves with this post. Hilarious.