Is Anybody Still Enjoying This?

'[Insert bad things here].'

The darker side of football has been rearing its ugly head for so long now that its neck must be in real trouble. Diving? ‘Rar!’, football roars. Incorrect and costly offside decisions? Rarrrrr! Dubious red cards and insulting language from the officials? Raarrrrrrrrr! Pelting players with coins? RAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!

The problem with this weekend was that it felt like one omnishambles (see also: ‘clusterfuck’) too far. Firstly, a procession of all things wryly considered to be the worst and most controversial aspects of the game occurred in front of our very eyes, as usual, and secondly, Ed Chamberlin’s eyes lit up like a fat lad at a hog roast as yet another chance arose to eschew analysing the actual football in favour of ‘great talking points’. As usual. And thirdly, an increasingly irrelevant Match of the Day 2 barely gave any analysis of anything. AS USUAL. A great advert for the Premier League, indeed. Well done, everyone.

Ruling Nothing Out

Not for the first time on a Monday morning – if you take out the obligatory ‘is this a dream?’ moment upon reading the headline ‘Ashley Cole shoots youth with rifle’ – ill-discipline and FA/Premier League sanctioning (or lack of) are the order of the day. Wayne Rooney, certainly, should have been punished. Gary Caldwell, too, committed a dreadful tackle on Patrice Evra for which he was lucky to escape the referee’s attentions. Neither were particularly necessary challenges, but at least Caldwell was in the vicinity of a player with the ball. Rooney’s elbow on James McCarthy bordered on assault.