A Tale of Two Centre Backs

John Terry has become the human equivalent of Millwall FC. ‘No-one likes me and I don’t care,’ he pouts. There’s a reason why people don’t like you John. If you pardon my asterisks, it’s because you consistently and unashamedly act like a f****** c***. And if we take the person as institution metaphor a step further, it appears Terry has also become the human equivalent of the Conservative Party with his contemptuous ‘born to rule’ mentality which sneerily puts down any attempt to question his form by kissing his badge or taking off his beloved blue shirt to emphasise the word ‘captain’ adorning his bicep. All of this superficial preening merely serves to underline that attitude is everything to England’s JT. It is everything and ultimately it leaves him with nothing. Because it is this stinking attitude that means that when Terry clatters his England teammate James Milner with a horribly late tackle in the FA Cup semi final, rather than check to see if his supposed pal is ok, he is instead right in the ref’s face presumably asking ‘what the fuck is that for?’ It is this attitude that has him mouthing ‘twice I got the ball’ after being sent off against Spurs when twice he didn’t get the ball.

After the furore over his personal life and the fallout over losing his England captaincy, you would have thought he’d have had the good sense to shut his mouth and get his head down. As unlikeable as John Terry is, I would have had a grudging respect if he’d have shown any sort of humility, held his hands up, let it be known he was in the wrong and got on with playing football. But where he dips his wick has no bearing on his abilities on the field I hear you say. Well my argument is that in Terry’s case, it does. He is ruled by an overbearing juvenile ego where he seems to have to constantly prove himself as a man. Off the pitch this means shagging Wayne Bridge’s ex. On the pitch, it means tearing into tackles when a little contemplation wouldn’t go amiss and generally engaging mouth before brain when dealing with referees.

Quite how being the fourth best centre back on the field at White Hart Lane on Saturday evening gives Terry the ammunition to be anything but sheepish is anyone’s guess. Meanwhile, you have Michael Dawson who has grown in stature this season to finally live up to the billing that made him such an exciting prospect all those years ago at Nottingham Forest. One of my housemates is a Spurs fan and more so than the other two I live with (Wigan and York City fans), he has been waxing lyrical about Dawson to anyone and everyone who will listen. I was at White Hart Lane for the Spurs Blackburn game a month or so ago and when he wasn’t being completely commanding and looking every inch the international centre back, Dawson was spraying 50-yard passes straight onto Gareth Bale’s left foot. He looked very good indeed.

It hasn’t been a flash in the pan either. Imperious for the majority of the season, Dawson seems to have come of age, especially in the two games that could define Spurs’ season and particularly against Chelsea when he effectively snuffed out the threat posed by one of the world’s most dangerous strikers, encapsulated by that perfect sliding tackle in the final ten minutes on Drogba. Surely the form of Terry has now become a worry to Fabio Capello as the ancient wisdom of automatically pairing he with Rio Ferdinand seems more and more to be based on flawed logic. ‘He’s committed and brave,’ say Chelsea fans. ‘He puts his body on the line,’ they crow. Yeah well he also has a dreadful temperament. He has been undone by pace all season. He is a one man harassment law case when he gets within five yards of a referee. And although I suppose Algeria fans won't be chanting 'John Terry, your mum's a thief' at him in Cape Town, you've still got to worry about him in South Africa against the likes of Messi, Villa, Torres. Only one of Dawson and Terry appears to be getting on the plane to South Africa it seems and as time passes it is looking increasingly like it will end up being the wrong one. Adam Bushby

Welcome Return of the Derby Match

Blood. Thunder. Hammers. Tongs. Kitchen sinks. This season, verve and fervency have returned to Premier League derbies and, if anything, have been its only saving grace. The year as a whole has provided upsets as the rule rather than the exception and the title will certainly not go to a team that has played consistently fantastic football, regardless of who finishes top in May.

The Manchester derby at Old Trafford last September was probably the game of the season so far, though the Carling Cup semi-final encounters didn’t disappoint either. An influx of money and quality players has started to turn Ferguson’s Sauron-esque gaze away from Anfield and back towards Eastlands. Even under Sven, City were still the Premier League’s wry smile. Get some money, achieve a bit, but get thumped 8-1 by Boro’ on the last day. Beat United, home and away, but not cause too many ripples because United win the title and all is well with the world. ‘You enjoy your little victories, City’, gloated United fans, ‘because we will win the war’.

This time, however, the whole war will be condensed into 90 minutes and City have the monopoly on weapons. Ferguson reserves plenty of ire for his city rivals at the best of times, but will feel it all the more intensely now United’s season could meet its end at the hands of a club dormant for so long and a striker he chose not to retain. What probably nags at Ferguson is that deep down, he expected this to be his most glorious of years, the year in which he finally eclipsed Liverpool’s haul of titles; the year he won a league even without Cristiano Ronaldo. What he won’t have entertained is the locals not only getting ideas above their station, but finishing the season there too. This was never supposed to be City’s season of self-affirmation and their increasing belief will only be boosted by the evaporation of United’s, who have plenty to prove. With three classics already this season, my money is definitely on a fourth. Manchester derbies are back with a vengeance.

The North London equivalent between Arsenal and Spurs offered another notable encounter this week. While Harry Redknapp’s expensively-assembled side would ordinarily expect to dismantle a team worth £40m less, the importance of psychological hoodoos in football are not to be underestimated. They are certainly not to be discounted on the back of a dispiriting FA Cup semi-final defeat to the Premier League’s bottom club. Nevertheless, Tottenham roused themselves and ended Arsenal’s 11-year run as well as the Gunners’ title hopes. What’s more, it was a good game of football. Good games are not normally synonymous with local derbies (just ask the Old Firm), as pundits tend to prefer allusions to ‘commitment’ and ‘passion’ as bywords for players diving into challenges because they know the fans are really into it. For reference, see the first North London derby of the season which, aside from two Arsenal goals in eleven seconds, didn’t offer much.

Merseyside derbies, too, while not benefiting from a shot in the arm like those down the M62, or from a record finally coming to an end like in the capital, still boast two top-half teams. This season’s incarnations are notable for Liverpool delivering two performances the likes of which most people expected to see on a more frequent basis when tipping them for the title. A fairly dour performance nevertheless ground out a 2-0 win at Goodison, while a significantly more inspiring display saw Liverpool win the Anfield return 1-0, despite being reduced to 10 after half an hour. In the latter game, challenges were flying in all over the pitch, much to Andy Gray’s delight.

Derbies involving the league’s more successful clubs are starting to stand out on the fixture list again, even for those of us that strive to resist the pull of the often-lukewarm ‘Super Sunday’. City and Tottenham are closer than ever to the league’s biggest four and though their traditional city rivals continue to cling to Chelsea’s coat tails at the top, local bragging rights might be the only prize left on offer. Expect the word ‘pulsating’ to be overused this Saturday lunchtime; Hope for more of the same next season. Rob MacDonald

*This article was originally posted on Friday April 16, before the Manchester derby

Go Fourth and Multiply

The term ‘kingmakers’ has been frequently used in the last couple of weeks, mainly in conjunction with the Liberal Democrats and Tottenham Hotspur. Spurs, having lost the FA Cup semi-final to Portsmouth yesterday (and with it the chance to deny Ancelotti his first trophy with Chelsea) now play the Premier League’s current top three in quick succession. However, much like the Lib Dems, they may have relinquished the incentive to a side in blue who have enjoyed a week boasting a couple of very slick performances.

The noisy half of Manchester started an impressive eight-day spell with a 6-1 tonking of Burnley at Turf Moor, before following it up with yesterday’s 5-1 dismissal of a Birmingham shorn of Joe Hart. In their last three games, City have scored 14, conceded just two and find themselves four points ahead of Spurs, though the North London side have a game in hand. The two meet in the season’s penultimate fixture.

Could it in fact be City who are this season’s kingmakers? It’s a role they would relish, particularly if it involves delivering the knockout blow to United’s title hopes this coming weekend. The following week they travel to Arsenal, who, while buoyed by United’s stalemate with Bolton will have to consolidate against first Spurs and then Wigan before overcoming a City which will undoubtedly contain an invigorated Emmanuel Adebayor.

The Togo striker and Carlos Tevez have been irresistible recently. Add to their current form the intensity with which they have taken the fight to their former clubs in previous meetings this season and it seems that City could provide Mancini’s countryman at Stamford Bridge with a clear path to his first Premier League title long before Spurs travel to Old Trafford.

And what of Spurs? Their last Premier League result was a defeat on the road at Sunderland. A massive fixture at White Hart Lane on Wednesday looms as their players work to recover from a sapping Wembley pitch and the disappointment of losing a semi-final they were expected to win. A fully-rested Arsenal, injuries aside, are not ideal opponents for a team needing a fillip. The pressure to protect Aaron Lennon, but also to get him match fit as quickly as possible, will not lift Harry Redknapp’s mood or expression. The nagging fear that defeat in the FA Cup semi presages a similar stumbling at the final hurdle in the league will not easily be allayed. No doubt the squad’s meals will be under lock, key and 24-hour surveillance for the foreseeable future.

Both City and Spurs have huge roles to play as the season enters its final weeks, but City look best-equipped to decide not only the destiny of the title, but the destination of that final Champions League place. How the burgeoning team in blue would love to land a significant blow at the expense of the previously dominant team in red. Rob MacDonald

Heavy Betting

"Money won is twice as sweet as money earned" Paul Newman, The Color of Money

With both Bushby and MacDonald seemingly fleecing the bookies at will these days, here are 7 randomly generated and 1 very relevant fixture (York weren't available to include in an accumulator on Betfair for some reason) on which the usual £2 will be lumped.

1. Hull v Burnley
2. Barnsley v Derby
3. Brighton v Carlisle
4. Barnet v Macclesfield
5. Southampton v Charlton
6. PSG v Bordeaux
7. Real v Barca
8. Breda v Roda

And in alphabetical order (somewhat pointlessly), the contenders:

Adam: Hull, Draw, Brighton, Barnet, Southampton, Bordeaux, Draw, Breda.

Odds: 839-1.

Rob: Hull, Barnsley, Brighton, Macclesfield, Southampton, Bordeaux, Real, Draw

Odds: 1,026-1.

Arise, Sir Roy

Since the end of December 2007, the only stock to have risen higher than Roy Hodgson’s is that of Tamiflu. And, given that the majority of us didn’t die or turn into pigs, you can guarantee that will be declining soon. Hodgson’s, by contrast, shows no signs of abating.

Incredibly, Fulham are now in the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup/Europa League/Spawn of Platini having played 16 games in the tournament so far and 55 in all competitions this season. Preposterously they have knocked out last year’s champions Shakhtar Donetsk, Italy’s Old Lady, Juventus, and now German champions Wolfsburg, who began the season in the Champions League. To even get to the knockouts, Fulham survived a group containing Roma, involved at Serie A’s summit this year, Basel and CSKA Sofia. They’re also safe for another year in the Premier League, sitting 12th.

Hodgson is no stranger to fantastically mind-numbing achievement, having made Switzerland the third best team in the world at one point in the mid-90s. His achievements at Fulham potentially surpass even that, though it is hard to say which is his greatest. Saving the club from relegation with 12 points from their final five games in 2008 – including that turnaround from 2-0 down at half time to win 3-2 at Eastlands – takes some beating. Subsequently leading Fulham to their highest ever finish in seventh place and European competition in 2008/09 somehow saw Sir Alex Ferguson awarded the Manager of the Year accolade for the ninth time.

Finding Brede Hangeland was a stroke of genius. Signing Mark Schwarzer was another. And how good a bit of business was Bobby Zamora for £4.8m? And who could get so much out of a seemingly past it Damien Duff? And Clint Dempsey? And flog a barely-proven Chris Smalling to United for £20m? And… you get the picture.

The only thing possibly standing between Hodgson and being named Manager of the Year is that his achievements haven’t taken place in the Premier League. On relative Premier League form alone this year, Hodgson could be pipped to the post by Alex McLeish. David Moyes is a frequent contender. Should Harry Redknapp take Spurs to fourth, he might get the nod. But no one can deny Hodgson deserves recognition for taking Fulham from relegation favourites to Europa League semi-finalists in two years. His reward would be long overdue.

This season has surpassed all expectations. Fulham knocked Juventus out of Europe. JUVENTUS. That alone, for a club that has a ‘neutral end’ at its ground and Mohamed Al Fayed as chairman, should see Hodgson knighted. For now though, the odyssey continues – Fulham meet Hamburg in the semis for the right to contest the final in… er, Hamburg on May 12th. Hodgson’s stock may not have peaked just yet. Rob MacDonald

Daylight Ribery

"Was that Ribery or Robben?"

"We can't worry too much about Ribéry and we won't," Sir Alex Ferguson asserted during today’s pre-match press conference. "We have to take care of him when he gets the ball – but he is no faster than Neville." Cue stifled laughter all round I would imagine. ‘No faster than Neville?’ Really? 35-year-old Gary Neville, Sir Alex?

Ferguson has become the undisputed king of dealing with the media throughout his 24 years at the helm at Old Trafford. Never one to suffer fools gladly, or without a four-word tirade up his sleeve to erupt in the face of any journo foolhardy enough to ask a silly question, even he must have had tongue firmly in cheek with this response.

Bayern have not failed to score in a match since way back on November 3 last year, when they fell to a 2-0 defeat at the Allianz Arena against potential semi-final opponents Bordeaux. That there are goals in this current tie is fairly obvious and that they will arrive due to a key contribution from either Frank Ribery or Arjen Robben is a wager few betting men could resist. With the latter back in the frame for a starting place tonight, Neville will either face someone who is fast or indeed, very fast. And although he dealt admirably with the advances of Ronaldinho in the preceding round, the former England right back has looked very susceptible to any sort of pace this season; in recent weeks, Ribery and Florent Malouda have both given him a torrid time.

This will be the key battleground for me tonight. If Neville drops off Ribery, then the Frenchman can exploit the United captain’s lack of pace and look to cut inside onto his favoured right foot at every opportunity. Should Neville get too tight, he is a deft touch from Ribery away from looking like a pillock and seriously exposing the rest of his own defence. Neville will certainly have to get his angles right. And although Robben has been most effective for Bayern this season coming off the right wing and using that pulverising left foot of his (case in point his marvellous finish against Fiorentina in the last 16), Van Gaal may wish to alternate him and Ribery against Neville to really test Sir Alex’s contention.

Neville as fast as Ribery – not bleeding likely. Robben? Pull the other one. Only time will tell if Robben carries a lesser sentence than Ribery. Boom Boom. Adam Bushby


Prediction - Bayern to go through

Nitol for Tyldesley

Is the Champions League interesting again? Clive Tyldesley’s worst nightmare may yet manifest itself this week as a defence-less Arsenal take on a defence-less Barcelona – so that’s basically Messi vs Bendtner – and a Rooney-less Manchester United take on a Bayern Munich with added Robben. There may be no English team in the semis for the first time since 2003.

Arsenal’s game with Barcelona last week produced a sublime game of football. Arsenal weren’t punched, kicked or shoved off the ball, even if Fabregas did suffer from the cruncher’s calling card with a broken leg. They were comprehensively outplayed. Barcelona tonight are a different side and talk abounds over the impact Walcott made when he came on, but it is conveniently forgotten he was near anonymous again at the weekend against Wolves.

Two additional factors have been equally ignored. Firstly, while Barca’s defence is rearranged and perhaps a bit sluggish, Walcott has to decide what to do when he gets near the goal, a process that has never been his strong point. He might not even start. Secondly, Barcelona have Lionel Messi and he was quiet at the Emirates. He is rarely quiet for long.

While you can talk up Arsenal’s chances, should you so desire, with fantasies of speed and attacking panache, any assessment of Manchester United’s forthcoming fixture feels like it has to be made with a similar malaise to that sweeping over the team since they took the lead in Germany. Sluggish against Bayern, weary against Chelsea, this is not a United team solely undermined by the loss of Rooney.

United’s only ever-present, Patrice Evra, looks leggy and tired, which is not only a defensive problem as he poses a significant attacking threat. Darren Fletcher, also one of United’s most regular and influential performers could not get close to Bayern’s centre backs and van Bommel as they strode forward last week, and could not stamp his authority on Lampard and Malouda at Old Trafford. This isn’t a crisis for United, but the team aren’t enjoying the same conviction with which they brushed aside Bolton without Rooney. While they are weaker, Bayern are stronger. Two wins out of two and a returning winger bound to give United problems, whether it be Neville or Rafael. It will be tight. Tyldesley will not be sleeping easily.

A few other people having nightmares this week will be those who thought crazy topless fat men were a thing of the Premier League past. Newcastle are back in the top flight, which is good news because we’ll all need something else to laugh at when Liverpool aren’t as useless next season. Well done Chris Hughton and welcome back. Except you, Joey Barton. Rob MacDonald